梦。。dream

5am......

while i am looking at d timer on displayed on the handphone display screen. It was the time i started suddenly awoke from the dream encountered.

It was piercing heart at the moment.

It was because of someone in my dream kept me awoke.

It was because of the dream that vision someone encountered disability.

I went into toilet while d sound of the water dropping onto the floor. Sitting there and trying to recall back the dream.

The Dream

It was the place look like airport in the morning but with very few ppl around. i saw Christian bro and sis were sitting around on the resting place. They were happily chit chatting and among them thunderous laugh can be heard while i was standing far from them.

The voice i am familiar with.

No. It was not the evil laugh.
No. It is the laugh that attracts my ears to in the very beginning of first time i know her.

The laugh that came with portion of happiness with sorrowfulness.

Among them, it was the situation whereby bro and sis cracking a lot jokes that caused her burst into laughing. While i was walking toward her, i was greeted by them but her. Strangely, i noticed her among them with eyes fixed at one place but smile with angelic beautiful face.

I have weird feeling.. something is not right. Something wrong happened to her.
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I realized she couldn't see anything.
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(trying to recall, trying to translate what i saw in the dream into word, will be amend soon)

鸵鸟

short talk
我记忆差，听过的歌，每次都会忘记歌名和歌词。当每一次在朋友的车里听歌时，很多时候都想不起这些歌从哪里听过。但我所记得是歌里的旋律。

在朋友的网志里看到这首歌。再看看里面的歌词，也发现我一些的心声在这首歌里表达出来。也让我在这凌晨里沉默的回忆过去。

心里还是痛。但痛代表爱还依然存在，没有爱只是甜蜜和不痛。。。

“人总不能改变过去的一切， 唯一能做的，就是现在开始创造未来的幸福。”

我所能做的只能这样，其他的就让神来打点吧。

以下是这首歌的词

鸵鸟
===

妳說不愛了　於是我就承擔
不問我心裡想的是相反
陽光很燦爛　我卻笑不出來
它讓我看清楚妳已離開
我忍著悲傷和無奈　就躲在房間不出來
無法阻擋　時間在快轉

只能把愛　藏在　回憶深海
不想面對的事　學著習慣成自然
我會把愛　隱藏到誰都看不出來
它還再繼續　卻與妳無關

妳說不愛了　於是我就承擔
不問我心裡想的是相反
陽光很燦爛　我卻笑不出來
它讓我看清楚妳已離開
那動人完美的獨白　沒說完妳就先離開
就算遺憾　我也不推翻

只能把愛　藏在　回憶深海
不想面對的事　學著習慣成自然
我會把愛　隱藏到誰都看不出來
它還再繼續　卻與妳無關

這不是鴕鳥的心態　只是我還無法釋懷
我還愛妳　再不會說出來

只能把愛　藏在　回憶深海
不想面對的事　學著習慣成自然
我會把愛　隱藏到誰都看不出來
它還再繼續　卻與妳無關

只能讓愛　離開　回憶深海
不想面對的事　只能學著習慣成自然
對妳的愛　怎麼讓我卻還再依賴
妳要的幸福　卻與我無關

妳要的幸福　卻與我無關

Conversion

Short talk
The sky is gloomy and started raining cat and dog out there. It always has been raining for past few day when clock pointer fixed to 5pm. Yet, i had been working my butt off to prepare images for coming deployment of 200+ laptop nationwide in past few day as well.

Cleaning up my desk after serious bump with my job regard to prepare stuffs for next incoming project. Heavy downpour started echoing outside my office with the impact of drop clashing with the window.

I was thinking,"Another late knock off today". The office and surrounding PS was so quiet while the melody played by nature outside. It is d music that manipulated me into deep thought about the questions throw upon me few months ago until last week.

I'm start wondering the reason why there are so many friends bear "Cross" in their heart around me. I'm started to think during 28 years of my life, i have been went through the simplicity life dreamed and desired by a lot of ppl. I'm not rich yet not that poor because of my parents strong financial control and ahead planning for us. I'm very lucky to have them to be my parent.

I'm continue the exploration ventured deep into the past memory of my life before today. The question about I'm keep surrounded by so many good Christian friend around me to date.

On the way to McD while anticipating the downpour to stop anytime soon, I was began counting the Christian friends that i can remember and encountered.

1. Adam tang
2. Ling soon ping
3. Alfred Chin
4. Alfred wong
5. Raymond wong
6. Wesly
7. Emily Tiew
8. Caroline ho
9. Rita chan
10. Blaise Chai
11. Rita ling
12.Kylyn
13. Catherine sia
14. Catherine Chan
15. Caroline Ho.
16. Jesseymine
17. Chamber
18. Jia ning
19. Angie Ling
20. Rebecca
21. Wong ting kiong
22. Kong Lin bing
23. Amelia
24. Jimmy
25. Beavy
26. Lawrence
27. George
28.
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Believe it or not. The list will go down on and on. not even d 8 fingers and 2 thumbs on my both palms can count all of them.

Everything happened for the reason and everything is arranged

Yes. everything is arranged. During Redang Retreat, Clara from Singapore once told me that it is arrangement made to draw me to Him by putting his follower around me. Nothing is stopping me except myself.

Christianity already entered into my life without me see it coming tirelessly. It always knocking my door while i am wondering what it is behind. It's just a simple decision "Yes" or "No" to rotate the knob to open d door.

What is love?

a voice enchoing in my mind... a voice came with the question pointed toward me.. a question asked me "what is love to you?". I responded to the question with answer "The pain you suffered without presense of special person around you. That's love" .

It was just impulsive answer straight out from my heart without filtering through my brain. I don't have any explanation to that answer. If search through google, who has definite answer?i guess not.

If you guy has d answer. Tell me about that...